Changes. I can't even describe what God is doing in me... but it's extensive.

I hope saying that doesn't make me sound like I'm bragging. I'm not. I'm so imperfect, and I fail everyday, it amazes me God hasn't given up.

It amazes me God hasn't given up. He is truly pursuing me. In the midst of my struggles and my confusion and NoiSe, He desires to break thru and give His peace. I want to write about that some more. Maybe in the near future.

This is a pretty uneventful blog. Hope you've enjoyed. :p

"Everything is Possible..."

Since 4th or 5th grade, I had the dream of changing Hollywood. No lie!

Jan. 24 1997 – Dear Journal, …Dreaming of becoming an actress.

Not long after that entry, I have plays I tried writing.

March 19 1998 – My goal in life – to go to Hollywood or NY and go to film school.

March 3 2006 – If I could be anything, I’d want to be an amazing singer or actress. I could be in a place where I could influence and impact others, others could be blessed. God would be honored.

Then I went through that phase where I wanted to be a writer for Conan O’Brien.

Clearly none of those things happened. And I don’t have a desire so much to be something great or amazing or have fame. God started to show me that there are greater things. Matthew 28:19 Go and make disciples of all nations.

David Platt gets into this verse in his book RADICAL:

Making disciples is not an easy process… Jesus has not given us an effortless step-by-step formula for impacting nations for his glory. He has given us people, and he has said, “Live for them. Love them, serve them, and lead them. Lead them to follow me, and lead them to lead others to follow me. In the process you will multiply the gospel to the ends of the earth.” According to Jesus, disciple making involves going. Disciple making is not a call for others to come hear the gospel but a command for us to go to others to share the gospel.

March 27, 2011 – Will I plant a church in Ethiopia…

Things changed. And I realized how I think I could get along well in a hut in the desert :p Haha after I lived on an air mattress and couch for months, refused to buy a new winter coat, drove my death trap car til it’s absolute last moment… Got me thinking “maybe I’m made for this missions stuff…”

I was having a couple conversations recently about how I used to dream of being in the entertainment industry but how things have changed and how I kind of said goodbye to that “selfish” dream of mine. I felt strongly that if I’m going to work toward something, it’s going to be something that glorifies God and advances His Kingdom (bring others to know him).

Not long after that, the pastor of my church gave a message entitled Greater Faith.

Pastor Jack stated that God builds our faith first by giving us a dream. And we know that when God gives us a dream, he is TOTALLY able to make that dream happen.

Ephesians 3:20 – to HIM who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work in us…
Mark 9:23 – Everything is possible for him who believes. (says Jesus)
Matthew 9:28&29 – Jesus: Do you believe I am able to do this? Blind men: Yes, Lord. Jesus: According to your faith, it will be done to you.

How do we know that it’s GOD giving us the dream? Pastor Jack outlined 3 criteria:
1. Is it a dream where HE is the key to making it come true (Can I do it without any help from Him? If so… meeeeh prob not from Him)
2. Will it positively affect others?
3. Does it line up with God’s word?
Okay God, being a movie star in Hollywood is probably not something You really want from me.

Then. About a month later. Abigail Getty, a friend I went on a mission trip to England with about 10yrs ago, asked me to go with her to Zimbabwe to teach kids theater.

I wasn’t sure this was an investment I was willing to take. But through speaking with her and through this huge pull on my heart reminding me “Emmy, this is your dream. God is here to make it happen!” I’ve given her the YES! I WILL GO!

i need God for this! I have 2 months. I don’t have any money in savings. I live paycheck to paycheck so the only way I can give my own money is to work overtime, not drink so much Starbucks, and cash in my piggy bank! I have total faith that God provides when we step out in faith and say “Lord, this is my desire, and you can make this happen!”

The Bible says a few things about desire. These two stick out to me
1 John 2:17 – The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.
Psalm 37:4 – Delight yourself in the Lord / and he will give you the desires of your heart.

For those of you that don’t think Christians should go to other countries and tell about God, sorry. But I’m going to do that. But if it helps you donate ANYWAY, Zimbabwe is already over 80% Christian.
But they need tangible love. And you know how when 9/11 happened, everyone banned together and cried out to God to be near and to bless our country? This country is struggling with poverty and sickness (HIV) but there are counties in Africa that don’t even know there is a God they can run to or cry to or seek refuge from. Make disciples to multiply the gospel to the ends of the earth

Oh man, and I can’t wait to have these kids act out some of their daily tasks/routines while the other kids guess what it is!! I just had a vision of acting out some things to show how much God loves them. Mmmm yes, this will be an amazing trip!

Please consider helping me get there. God blesses us with income not so we can gorge ourselves with unneeded goods all the time, but so we can live a pleasurable life and give it back to him out of faith that he’ll take our donations and give them back tenfold Or however many fold. I don’t know where that scripture is. Lol…

If you have questions, please ask! Help make this happen!! You can donate here: http://youcansend.me/emmyann

Zimbabwe on the Brain! ← Emmy Will Go!

Zimbabwe on the Brain! ← Emmy Will Go!

update.

I haven’t been breathing much lately.

And by that I mean… just stopping to take a breath and enjoy the creation. I haven’t taken any photos of the cool things I’ve seen. I haven’t recorded any of the cool conversations I’ve had or the great people I’ve met. I’ve been so rushed!

Sitting here writing is quite uncomfortable right now.. I’ve been working out more and it’s taking it’s toll. To be honest, I don’t particularly like the results. I believe I’m going to start looking deformed. Without the fat to fill in and round out all my awkward angles, I don’t think I’ll yield the same compliments I’ve received in the past. People actually thought I had a good figure! What if I destroy it with stupid exercise??? Exercise is good though. I feel doomed to diabetes or some type of severe illness since all I eat is candy.

My hair is growing at an alarming rate.

My grandfather is receiving Chemo treatments for lung cancer and even though he lives 15min away, I haven’t seen him in awhile.

My feelings are still hurting a bit. It reminds me a lot of when Mr. Harrisburg disappeared the two times he legitimately disappeared. This time isn’t as bad, though. I’m getting used to it. Still blows my mind how people are capable of that kind of thing. Maybe I’m just more forward than others. or something.

I just put on Boy in the Striped Pajamas. I guess this is farewell for now, until my next “take a breath” day. Well, i hope my next one takes place outdoors. With a camera.

Take Me To Your Leader

As if there wasn't enough in this world I was worried about... now i have to worry about getting abducted by aliens?!?! Thanks a lot The Fourth Kind. Can you please reprint your video cover to say "this movie may cause intense paranoia and ruin all possibilities of nighttime fun for approx. 7 days."

I find it interesting to believe human kind was a creation/experiment by some ufo drivers. If that was one's true belief, how have they not jumped off a bridge by now? What would be the point if we were all here just like ants on an ant farm to be watched and tortured by cruel baby ufo drivers? Getting our arms and legs pulled off, arses burned under a magnifying glass... doesn't quite seem worth it. I prefer to believe I'm an ever-evolving monkey, hoping to some day gain the ever-important survival necessity of eyes in the back of the head AND the front. Seriously. We are supposed to be evolving here. If I can lose all the hair, shorten my arms, gain greater intelligence, get more attractive boobs (have you ever seen an ape's boobs? awful.)... why can't I have four freaking eyes?

I have this notebook I keep jotting down things I want to write about. But I'm never really in the mood to write anywhere other than the personal journal again... I try to write things on here but they turn into boring messes about jobs and apartments and men and pizza.

I heard a story on the Christian radio station today. There was a homeless(?) man with no job to pay his bills and such and he decided he'd put all his trust in God. He prayed a lot. And put a sign on his car reading: Will Work for Anything, and also his phone number. We won't go into the details of how he had a car or phone, but I guess he got enough work to last him a year. That's pretty sweet. I wonder if he got any interesting offers...

Well I got to write some. Which is what I've wanted to do for awhile now! Horray!

Peace out. And don't worry about getting abducted. You have nothing to fear unless some shrink starts hypnotizing you. Then you'll probably die soon.

Pittsburgh Coffee Shop Tour 2010

Voluto Coffee

Penn Ave, Friendship

I was drawn to Voluto today because my roommate wanted to tell me about a girl I could live with. I woke up around 11am, purposely missing church, because I just... I felt the need for extended quality time in bed. This is just one of those weeks, I think. I hate them... when things weigh heavier than they probably should, but when you have a uterus, you can't really control a whole lot of how you're going to emotionally handle things.

Now Playing: Sun Kil Moon, Australian Winter
The Dead 60's, Riot Radio
PJ Harvey, This Mess We're In (feat. Thom Yorke)
Ane Brun, Humming One Of Your Songs
Grouplove, Colours
We Were Promised Jetpacks, Short Bursts

So Voluto is pretty nice! My latte had a heart shape in the foam. Check it out:

The music here is pretty sweet, but I'd rather take advantage of the fact I remembered my headphones! So I'm blippin'. My Playlist

Also passing this Coffee Shop Tour test : Coconut-Lime Scone. Super tasty! They also have cheesecake blueberry muffins, which I'm sure would be very tasty for a cheesecake fan. I asked what their focus is here and they said simply providing customers with great, high quality coffee. My initial thought, and I told them this, was that their focus was on having an array of flyers covering the windowsills. I was kindly corrected.

Well, I have a large to-do list, including blogging not about a coffee shop, so I'm going to publish this guy and get to work. Happy Cloudy Sunday, everyone!

Rating - 4.231 biscotti

Pittsburgh Coffee Shop Tour 2010 Crazy Mocha, Shadyside

Fail #1 - No electric outlets outside.
Fail #2 - No appetizing food.
Fail #3 - Emmy forgot her headphones.
Fail #4 - Wearing flowy dress when it's super windy.

Pass #1 - Tasty raspberry iced tea.
Pass #2 - Red goat.
Pass #3 - Ballerina/Trapeze teddy bear hanging from ceiling.

I really don't feel like I could chill here all day. I failed to include my Southside Crazy Mocha experience in this tour, which is a shame because that one was AWESOME. I did have my headphones and a full belly though when I was there... And I had a super comfy chair in the sun... there isn't even the option of comfy chairs in sun here. Let this be a lesson.

This guy next to me is getting advice from a friend or from an editor about a book he wrote? Maybe? I try to get a feel for the rest of the patrons at this local butttttttt I'm not very good at that. Everyone is alone. Except for the book talkers. Everyone is young. Everyone possesses a laptop, except for the book talkers.

There's a grass green / neon pink house across the street. I can't tell if it's a shop or someone's legit house. They probably just want to seem super cool to the people sitting over here at the crazy coffee cow.

Here is my to-do list for this day's tour stop:

1. Finish resume for film stuff. Even tho that ship has probably sailed.
   
2. Clean out Gmail inbox (86 unread and counting...)
3. Seriously consider where I can/will be living in 7 weeks. (Akirah, this includes responding to your comment :p)
4. Cocktail break at Harris Grill's happy hour? $3 frozen cosmo... I kind of miss thee.
5. Job blog. Bound to be the most boring thing ever written, other than this horrible novella I read last night on someone's blog.
   

Those goals are pretty lofty, so I think I'll stop the list there. Alright kiddies, I'm gonna get to the list. I'll be back to close this sucker out.

**exciting update*** The guy who was judging that other dude's book is now judging a lady's book! he must be a rockstar... only in editing. Hmm. I should get his card. Then take his job cuz I think I could be better than him. :) tee hee.


Okay I'm still working on the resume and cover letter. But I'm getting really uncomfortable. Crazy Mocha of Shadyside, your seats and suck. And the lack of fresh air sucks. And all I want to do is leave your establishment to play outside. I miss my chair on the sidewalk in south side... :(

15min til Happy Hour... there's no way I could suck down a frozen cosmo now, though. I have iced tea aaaand a solo espresso. I've gotten ridiculously tired, but I need to be careful! Being up before 4am means no nappies and no caffeine overdose. Plus. If I had a frozen cosmo, I'd probably try to make out with Ingrid Michaelson tonight. That would be embarrassing. For her. When she totally goes for it. With lil ol' ME!

Well. Task #2 is complete. And that's all. This place is making me soooo sleepy! I guess I'm just going to go home, make me some dinners, get out of this danger dress, and go pose as an artsy fartsy lady? Darn I wish I bought that sweet hat from urban outfitters. It would be perrrrfect! Maybe there's still time..

It's been fun, Blogspot. Thanks for listening to me, like always.

Tour Rating - 2.523 Cups