update.

I haven’t been breathing much lately.

And by that I mean… just stopping to take a breath and enjoy the creation. I haven’t taken any photos of the cool things I’ve seen. I haven’t recorded any of the cool conversations I’ve had or the great people I’ve met. I’ve been so rushed!

Sitting here writing is quite uncomfortable right now.. I’ve been working out more and it’s taking it’s toll. To be honest, I don’t particularly like the results. I believe I’m going to start looking deformed. Without the fat to fill in and round out all my awkward angles, I don’t think I’ll yield the same compliments I’ve received in the past. People actually thought I had a good figure! What if I destroy it with stupid exercise??? Exercise is good though. I feel doomed to diabetes or some type of severe illness since all I eat is candy.

My hair is growing at an alarming rate.

My grandfather is receiving Chemo treatments for lung cancer and even though he lives 15min away, I haven’t seen him in awhile.

My feelings are still hurting a bit. It reminds me a lot of when Mr. Harrisburg disappeared the two times he legitimately disappeared. This time isn’t as bad, though. I’m getting used to it. Still blows my mind how people are capable of that kind of thing. Maybe I’m just more forward than others. or something.

I just put on Boy in the Striped Pajamas. I guess this is farewell for now, until my next “take a breath” day. Well, i hope my next one takes place outdoors. With a camera.

Take Me To Your Leader

As if there wasn't enough in this world I was worried about... now i have to worry about getting abducted by aliens?!?! Thanks a lot The Fourth Kind. Can you please reprint your video cover to say "this movie may cause intense paranoia and ruin all possibilities of nighttime fun for approx. 7 days."

I find it interesting to believe human kind was a creation/experiment by some ufo drivers. If that was one's true belief, how have they not jumped off a bridge by now? What would be the point if we were all here just like ants on an ant farm to be watched and tortured by cruel baby ufo drivers? Getting our arms and legs pulled off, arses burned under a magnifying glass... doesn't quite seem worth it. I prefer to believe I'm an ever-evolving monkey, hoping to some day gain the ever-important survival necessity of eyes in the back of the head AND the front. Seriously. We are supposed to be evolving here. If I can lose all the hair, shorten my arms, gain greater intelligence, get more attractive boobs (have you ever seen an ape's boobs? awful.)... why can't I have four freaking eyes?

I have this notebook I keep jotting down things I want to write about. But I'm never really in the mood to write anywhere other than the personal journal again... I try to write things on here but they turn into boring messes about jobs and apartments and men and pizza.

I heard a story on the Christian radio station today. There was a homeless(?) man with no job to pay his bills and such and he decided he'd put all his trust in God. He prayed a lot. And put a sign on his car reading: Will Work for Anything, and also his phone number. We won't go into the details of how he had a car or phone, but I guess he got enough work to last him a year. That's pretty sweet. I wonder if he got any interesting offers...

Well I got to write some. Which is what I've wanted to do for awhile now! Horray!

Peace out. And don't worry about getting abducted. You have nothing to fear unless some shrink starts hypnotizing you. Then you'll probably die soon.

Pittsburgh Coffee Shop Tour 2010

Voluto Coffee

Penn Ave, Friendship

I was drawn to Voluto today because my roommate wanted to tell me about a girl I could live with. I woke up around 11am, purposely missing church, because I just... I felt the need for extended quality time in bed. This is just one of those weeks, I think. I hate them... when things weigh heavier than they probably should, but when you have a uterus, you can't really control a whole lot of how you're going to emotionally handle things.

Now Playing: Sun Kil Moon, Australian Winter
The Dead 60's, Riot Radio
PJ Harvey, This Mess We're In (feat. Thom Yorke)
Ane Brun, Humming One Of Your Songs
Grouplove, Colours
We Were Promised Jetpacks, Short Bursts

So Voluto is pretty nice! My latte had a heart shape in the foam. Check it out:

The music here is pretty sweet, but I'd rather take advantage of the fact I remembered my headphones! So I'm blippin'. My Playlist

Also passing this Coffee Shop Tour test : Coconut-Lime Scone. Super tasty! They also have cheesecake blueberry muffins, which I'm sure would be very tasty for a cheesecake fan. I asked what their focus is here and they said simply providing customers with great, high quality coffee. My initial thought, and I told them this, was that their focus was on having an array of flyers covering the windowsills. I was kindly corrected.

Well, I have a large to-do list, including blogging not about a coffee shop, so I'm going to publish this guy and get to work. Happy Cloudy Sunday, everyone!

Rating - 4.231 biscotti

Pittsburgh Coffee Shop Tour 2010 Crazy Mocha, Shadyside

Fail #1 - No electric outlets outside.
Fail #2 - No appetizing food.
Fail #3 - Emmy forgot her headphones.
Fail #4 - Wearing flowy dress when it's super windy.

Pass #1 - Tasty raspberry iced tea.
Pass #2 - Red goat.
Pass #3 - Ballerina/Trapeze teddy bear hanging from ceiling.

I really don't feel like I could chill here all day. I failed to include my Southside Crazy Mocha experience in this tour, which is a shame because that one was AWESOME. I did have my headphones and a full belly though when I was there... And I had a super comfy chair in the sun... there isn't even the option of comfy chairs in sun here. Let this be a lesson.

This guy next to me is getting advice from a friend or from an editor about a book he wrote? Maybe? I try to get a feel for the rest of the patrons at this local butttttttt I'm not very good at that. Everyone is alone. Except for the book talkers. Everyone is young. Everyone possesses a laptop, except for the book talkers.

There's a grass green / neon pink house across the street. I can't tell if it's a shop or someone's legit house. They probably just want to seem super cool to the people sitting over here at the crazy coffee cow.

Here is my to-do list for this day's tour stop:

1. Finish resume for film stuff. Even tho that ship has probably sailed.
   
2. Clean out Gmail inbox (86 unread and counting...)
3. Seriously consider where I can/will be living in 7 weeks. (Akirah, this includes responding to your comment :p)
4. Cocktail break at Harris Grill's happy hour? $3 frozen cosmo... I kind of miss thee.
5. Job blog. Bound to be the most boring thing ever written, other than this horrible novella I read last night on someone's blog.
   

Those goals are pretty lofty, so I think I'll stop the list there. Alright kiddies, I'm gonna get to the list. I'll be back to close this sucker out.

**exciting update*** The guy who was judging that other dude's book is now judging a lady's book! he must be a rockstar... only in editing. Hmm. I should get his card. Then take his job cuz I think I could be better than him. :) tee hee.


Okay I'm still working on the resume and cover letter. But I'm getting really uncomfortable. Crazy Mocha of Shadyside, your seats and suck. And the lack of fresh air sucks. And all I want to do is leave your establishment to play outside. I miss my chair on the sidewalk in south side... :(

15min til Happy Hour... there's no way I could suck down a frozen cosmo now, though. I have iced tea aaaand a solo espresso. I've gotten ridiculously tired, but I need to be careful! Being up before 4am means no nappies and no caffeine overdose. Plus. If I had a frozen cosmo, I'd probably try to make out with Ingrid Michaelson tonight. That would be embarrassing. For her. When she totally goes for it. With lil ol' ME!

Well. Task #2 is complete. And that's all. This place is making me soooo sleepy! I guess I'm just going to go home, make me some dinners, get out of this danger dress, and go pose as an artsy fartsy lady? Darn I wish I bought that sweet hat from urban outfitters. It would be perrrrfect! Maybe there's still time..

It's been fun, Blogspot. Thanks for listening to me, like always.

Tour Rating - 2.523 Cups

I stood on the tracks
As the sun began to fall.
Blessings were counted,
Along with the early stars.
-i counted more stars-

I sat on the tracks
Being weighed by thoughts.
For each stone by foot
I could cover with a tear.
-i ran out of stones-

I lay on the tracks
And closed my eyes.
The roar of steel
Drowned my mind's lament.
-i began to rest-

written September 9, 2005
with the following:

Thought of this in class today. It's strictly entertainment,
no deep profound meanings I promise.

Haha I read this now and all I want to do is edit it and make it better. It's just funny, kinda. Finding a blog from 5yrs ago = win.

My inflatable mattress is starting to fail me a lot more often. Rubber cement, though, however temporary, has been a pretty solid fix. One morning I'll wake up not on the floor... other mornings, not so lucky. Rubber cement + band aid = even better temporary fix.

Tonight has been a bit emotional. First I saw a wee little baby basement centipede crawling on my bathroom wall. I couldn't kill him. Oddly enough, I found him cute. But then I screamed at the top of my lungs because a daddy centipede crawled out of my work bag and onto my bed, and then a second time because a penny rolled out of my work bag and i THOUGHT it was a daddy. Ughhhh. Leave me aloooone bugs! :p

Then, I put up a quote by Stephen Colbert about the oil spill. Which someone on Tumblr re-posted. So I went to their site and there were photos of the animals covered in oil. And I cried a bit. I hate how I've kept kind of ignorant about the whole thing because I hate being informed of all the crap going down in this world... but then I see it and I feel so guilty for not caring about it sooner. Not that I would do anything to help, because other than donate money to something they say will take years to stop anyway, I don't think there's anything I could do, but to not even give a thought about it, other than "gosh shut up about the spill already..." Blah. Those people down there trying to clean up the animals... they must be so strong in spirit. Goooo Team Clean-up!

THEN having a kind of emotional conversation with a friend of mine... this is probably all because it's so late and I should go to bed! Oh well. More blogging to do!

Last night I heard two pretty awesome songs on the radio. The first was some remix of an Imogen Heap song "Hide and Seek." It was prettttty sweet! I guess a lot of people hate it and think it sucks. Now, I'm not a hippity hop hardcore fan, but I liked driving to this and i like that it doesn't have the typical "i wanna do you on the dance floor" lyrics. Merry Christmas!




Ok so then at some point of the drive I was thinking about how I can't let God take the reins in my life. I blame it partly on being a mild control freak. But I also think I just want to be able to call my own shots, and also it's hard to believe that God actually has A PLAN for me. I have wandered into this mindset that as long as I love God, I can do whatever I want and he'll be happy with me. I feel like that's too convenient to be true... So I was thinking about that. And then I changed the station and this AMAZING song from church was on the radio. Lemme find it.. uno momento por favor.



Lyrics (even tho they are obnoxiously placed in the video):

Water You turned into wine
Open the eyes of the blind
There’s no one like You
None like You
Into the darkness You shine
Out of the ashes we rise
There’s no one like You
None like You

Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…

And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?

I love love love this song. It really helps give hope and perspective about just how magnificent God is... sigh. Love it.

I should probably go to sleep. I have to show people my apartment tomorrow so they can start moving in before I even know where I'm moving :p PS - looking up apartments on craigslist right now is VERY overwhelming. Anyone need a roommate?!?

Sunday Ramblings

At my brutha from anutha mutha’s house. Glorious Sunday with the aroma of barbecue, some sweet tunes (listen to them here! and create your own station so i can listen to YOUR sweet tunes), and an ugly old lady couch to relax on…
So I have about 3 followers on my blogspot and about 9 on here… so I don’t know what the point is of having two… but maybe if I start tagging my entries I’ll get more reads? Or if I start writing about anything worth reading…

Friends, lovers, countrymen - listen here. I love Starbucks. I’ve decided that I want to be one of the people who travel to the coffee farms and shake the farmer’s hand and thank them and ask them if they need a freshwater well dug for their villages… That’s what I want. That, and to make jokes that everyone who watches TV can laugh at.

I have to go play on this chiropractic jungle-gym equipment. I’ll be right back to tell you about it.

…and back. So I just hung upside-down on this thing and surprisingly I feel a bit taller, more aligned/stretched. Paul says I need to stay upside-down for like 5 min but it hurt my ankles a lot (since that’s what you’re hanging by) and the blood was flooding my face pretty hardcorely. Sooo I don’t know if I’m meant for such intense chiropractic structural inventions.

I also love Starbucks because the people who work there can be pretty wonderful. They can be pretty not wonderful also, I’m sure. But… this man today was so sweet. I believe he likes boys, but he was saying how much he liked my hair and glasses. “It’s very… Lisa Lobe,” he said. “Stay classy, Emerald.” Will do, sir.

I keep making bad decisions. Well, I’ve been making bad decisions since I was in Kindergarten. I remember I kept tapping on this boy’s shoulder one day as he sat in front of me on the bus. I kept doing it and he grabbed my wrist and twisted my arm. I cried. And then I had to sit in the hot-seat because I was found to be at fault for the incident. I was also really bossy in Kindergarten. I always wanted to be the mom when we’d play house (this is what my report card says. I still have it. amazing.) and I guess I would get mad and punch all the kids in the face til they let me be mom?? That part is unrecorded. But I’m sure it happened. Why else would it matter if I always wanted to be mom? They should congratulate me for volunteering to be the responsible one with the fake house duties.

ANYWAY.
Bad decisions. I rule those. Lately, it’s just been with jobs. I keep quitting jobs when I should probably milk them for the added paycheck. But these jobs were keeping me from friends and church. Aren’t those more important than paying bills on time or having a new pair of flippy-floppies? I think so, but I’m probably wrong. I just want a 2nd job where I can call in any day, any time and say, “Hey I have nothing to do… can I just come work for awhile?” That would be ideal. Which is why I want to open my own coffee shop, bar, bakery or sex shop. Or a coffee-bar-bakery-sex shop. You’d come in every day, don’t lie to yourself.

Just kidding about the sex shop. Not kidding about the other things.

Aaaah life. Where are you headed…

Find Me Here:

http://emmyraldann.tumblr.com/

I'll probably still post here. Golly I don't know.

Dear Blogger,

You may be too complicated for me. I may have to end this relationship and move on to Tumblr. They appear super duper easy, and I'm a sucker for easy. I can also connect my Blip life to my Blog life and that is just fantastical.

So, I will give it some thought. But things are not looking too good for you, dear Blogger.

Sincerely,
EmeraldIsWeird.Blogspot.com

Homework Assignment #1 - Blog about Nancy

Little known fact: if your conversation with an interest goes THIS way, you'll score a date, no doubt.

You: Hello, I think you're pretty handsome and nice, want to go out sometime?
Interest: Umm... probably not.
You: Are you sure ((insert full name here))?
Interest: Hooooooow do you know my full name?
You: Well, (insert first name only, this time) it simply goes along with the social security number ((insert their ssn)) So what do you say Mr.(insert astrological sign here), want to go on a date? I can be at ((insert address of interest here)) by 7pm tonight, thats when you get home from ((insert occupation)), right?
Interest: Well, uh... yeah I'll be home but...
You: Great! I'll see you then. Or else.

So I've recently stalked a man into hanging out with me. And this fella could be one of the most 'people-person' people who ever existed. Tonight, thanks to those people skills, I was able to meet Nancy, the 72yr old Go-Go Dancin' Jesus Lovin' Gift Shop lady.

Nancy was a fireball. I love that a 72yr old woman could make me feel slightly uncomfortable because i didn't know what crazy things she would do or say next. She could Jitterbug, for sure. She was also pretty quick to give marriage advice. It was basically things I had heard before, but this woman broke my heart. Nancy has been married for 42 years. She says communication is very important, and if you can't talk to your man/lady about everything, it's no good. She, however, cannot talk to her husband about everything. They just don't communicate, she says.

She also says it means everything when a husband and wife both desire to grow and be a servant of Christ. She didn't use the word "servant" though... ugh i can't remember what exactly she said... I was probably too busy thinking, "well this conversation is only a bit awkward for a fourth date..."
Nancy loves the Lord. Her husband does not.

While she was talking about her husband, how boring he is but how good of a man he is... I didn't catch her saying she loved him. I was looking for it because it just seemed like the thing people say all the time: "well, they aren't perfect, but i love them..." I'm not saying she doesn't love her husband. It just broke my heart listening to this woman who was so alive and animate talk about something she knows she won't have. I can't know what goes on at home, she may not even try to make the marriage better... who knows! But to be so alive, and then to go home and probably go to sleep next to the same person she's been going to sleep next to for decades... not getting to be so alive anymore.. It's just sad. It's probably true in so many marriages.

How does that happen? Is it because people marry the wrong people? Or does happiness just fade out sometimes? Clearly happiness can't exist where there is constant disappointment, but then what are you supposed to do with the disappointment... if it's for better or for worse? Who wrote those vows, anyway?

Ug I'm starting to not think straight. Sleep intermission...

...And awake.

So yeah, Nancy made me cry a wee bit, and I really want to talk to her more. She seems to have a very full life, playing with grand kids and great grand kids... but maybe I could stalk HER into going on a date with me... yes... I think I shall. *wink wink*

***disclosure*** I'm not an advocate for divorce... I realize my "who wrote those vows" comment could make it seem otherwise. I just... I wonder where the line gets drawn. I could probably write a gazillion more words about that. But I don't want to right now. I want to brush my teeth and go make lattes.

***disclosure*** this homework assignment was late.

If I ruled the world, Pt. 1

Question: When exactly did the whole "men offer their bus seats to ladies" thing stop?

Yesterday morning and then again this afternoon, my bus was packed. So I stood up the whole time. Which is fine. But there are boys sitting down right next to me and I'm thinking... shouldn't they at least OFFER their seat to me? Or the older woman standing next to me? I may not even accept the offer... but... sigh.

They have car-free Fridays here in the 'burgh. Could they have Chivalry Thursday or Gentleman Thursday or SOMETHING to promote being super nice and courteous and mannerly to women? Then they could have Non-Slut Wednesday where all the ladies can be gentle, non-whorish or something, just to even out men not being allowed to be piggish.

If only I ruled the world...

Oh happy day...

This weekend was simply wonderful. But first things first:

My new paranoia. I think it started due to a friend's facebook status about someone they saw on the street acting particularly obnoxious. My friend made a status/tweet asking a man to stop being so ridiculous in public... and it made me immediately think Do people make tweets about me when I do something stupid in public??? I mean, think about it. People tweet about everything. EVERYTHING. What if I'm in the stall at Fatheads. And someone else is in the other stall and they are making the bathroom reek. So this girl posts somewhere "omg girl in fatheads bathroom is stinking up the place like whoa" and then I happen to walk out of the bathroom and people all over fatheads read this (because all you have to do is search 'fatheads' at any moment and see what people are saying about it... creepy...) and then I suddenly become the girl who made fatheads smell bad.

Or the other day I was working and this guy had his nifty lil iPhone and he was holding it parallel to my face. Which made it seem like he was taking a picture of me. I don't know if he was or not but it was pretty creepy. And I'm thinking What is wrong with my face right now that he feels it's capture-worthy?

It could very well be a ridiculous paranoia... but then again, it could very well not be ridiculous. You can't even wear your pjs to walmart anymore or people take pictures of you and send them to sites. I mean... I don't know about you, but I typically don't care what I look like in a Walmart. The world has changed, though, and now I must make sure I meet Walmart shopping standards. No more camouflage boots, Emmy. And that see-through net top you wear with the neon green tank under it, with a matching leather skirt... don't even think about it. I basically need to go to Target now just to buy an acceptable Walmart shopping wardrobe. Effin' camera phones... ruining life all over.

That's that. Now onto amazing weekend.

I love my nieces. And my friends. And sunshine. And being able to sing worship songs at the top of my lungs. And being active. And good food. And new opportunities. And creation. And kindness. And my drag queen neighbors who sell porn at a yard sale. And the talents of my friends. Life is just amazing sometimes. Well, probably always, but it can be hard to see.

Today in church I kept thinking about why people hate it so much. And it was strange because I was feeling soooooo much joy as I was sitting by myself in the last pew, listening desperately in order to gain some new insight. I was feeling so encouraged and so thankful.. It was breaking my heart that others will never enter a sanctuary again because of either some stereotype they've decided on (usually the 'church people are huge hypocrites...' thing) or because of some wrong that's been done to them by some Christian at some point in their lives... Listen friends. I've experienced some pretty crappy stuff all in the name of "Christian" and it's really taken a toll on me in one way or another. But how long can you hold on to some stupid life situation that no one has any control over? The service today was about pressing on. Because this life isn't about the weird stupid painful crap that happens, but rather how we are able to make it through all those times. And even more so, about reaching that prize that is waiting for us at the finish line. Or that's not at all what it's about. Let's just goooo with it.


It's kind of late for blogging. And I still have some personal journaling to do. And my bed is deflating and I'd like to be asleep before it's at that really awkward point where all my limbs go numb. ..

I would like to make a promise that sometime this week I will pull together a barista blog. And I will include how it is a mistake to squeeze honey into Michael Keaton's latte.

goodnight

Work Schmerk

I had a lot I wanted to write about tonight. I thought, Tonight, I'm going to Blog my heart out. But now I realize I'm down to about 6 hours of sleep, since I have to wake up at 3:45am, and I feel I should try to pass out ASAP.

Hopefully in my next blog I remember to talk about Albom's book and my new paranoia. And my failing bed! Super glue, you're letting me down. Bugs, you best stay hidden, cuz I got my hairspray and my shower spray ready to pollute your lungs and stick your stupid little legs together.

Stay tuned, my dears. the nonsense will continue.

Tonight feels pretty great...

I know. I promised a Starbucks blog. But I'd rather write it in Starbucks. While consuming Starbucks.

Right now I'm on my air mattress that's been out of commission for a while due to a massive hole. I finally found a repair kit today and it feels sooooo good to not be sleeping on a 3" thick K-Mart futon mattress on the floor. Not to mention, it'll take those freakin millipedes some hefty climbing if they want to try to make it across my pillow again. Though I don't dare doubt their skills.

I also decided it was about time to hook up the dehumidifier. I won't go into detail about the discovery leading to that action... but it has lead to warmer air, which lets me feel more summery. I hate having to wear winter PJs in the summer. Boo.

And I bought a case of water. Which somehow makes me feel so much better! With the second job and difficulty sleeping, I've been upping the caffeine intake, making me so much more dehydrated. Now, I gots some wata! And not vitamin water because I'm pretty sure doesn't hydrate you at all.

Why else do I feel so awesome right now? OO I bet it's cuz I read the Bible last night.

"...We have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being stregthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints of the kingdom of light."

I've been really missing the wisdom and knowledge of God lately. I remember in High School I took that Spiritual Gifts test and those were my two strongest gifts! I definitely do not feel so wise anymore. But I bet I got those two results because I just always -think- I'm right and knowledgeable. Haha oh well.

I'm also reading "Have a Little Faith" by Mitch Albom (is that right? I could look it up.. but nah..). I always read it on the bus and I always end up crying so I always end up feeling like a ridiculous sight. But it's pretty darn good. It basically follows these two men and their amazing faith and it's so inspiring.

I think I also feel pretty good right now because I've decided to take some time for myself this week. Lately, I feel as if I'm afraid to be alone for more than an hour. I've been running around, trying to find things to do and people to see. I've done a few important things last night and tonight since I had the time, so I'm glad I've decided to chill. My room is still disgusting. And I still have some dishes in the sink. My car isn't cleaned yet, and I haven't found a place to live come August... but all is well :)

There is a chapter in "Have A Little Faith" about happiness. Mitch asks what happiness is or how to find it, and his Rabbi tells him "Be satisfied." Can I just say I'm hardly ever satisfied? I always think I could have done a better job at something, or that I should be eagerly seeking out a higher paying job. This is why I want to live in another country sometimes. I hate the pressure to be so successful and so in need of money to do anything worth while. I want to be able to sit back and just accept that this is where I am right now, and that it won't be where I'll be for years and years. It's temporary. Got it Emmy?? Temporary! Stop freaking out about sucking so bad. You have time to move forward... take the opportunities that come your way and Thank God that there are new days to live.

It's a good night :) And I get to sleep in some tomorrow!! And I get to have a potentially fun evening. And I'm not sleeping on the flooooooor!!! <3>

Hmmmm... I had a little paragraph about the upcoming starbucks entry and how I need to be hip and add lots of cool elements to it and how i could write all night ... but it disappeared.

Oh well. Good night

Keep an eye out: Future Blog - Starbucks.

Keep an eye out, folks. I will have a blog soon about Starbucks. And maybe other coffee shops. I hope to enlighten and blow minds with my inside impression of the Starbucks customer. Keep an eye out! It's coming!